TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
