Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
