Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
