I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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