who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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