Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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