I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
God, you're like boner-b-gone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
