can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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