these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
