Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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