What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
