At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize