I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize