Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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