can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
