he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He better not be in your backpack
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize