i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
