Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
