I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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