4 words: hood of his car
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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