i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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