stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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