TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize