Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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