it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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