Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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