am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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