rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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