ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
