She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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