doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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