I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
