Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Randomize
