Please, let me fuck your mom
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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