Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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