Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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