I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
bring money and cleavage
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dicks are not precious.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
