i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
