our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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