there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
