i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
