She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
