yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
