i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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