She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
