Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
