No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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