pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
