There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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