But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize