So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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