If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize