I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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