One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
