Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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