like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
